L I S T E N☝️
It’s so hard for so many of us slow down and take in what’s happening right now. I don’t mean in the news. I mean right in front of you and within you. I mean it in a real way. In the way of the world right now saying WAKE UP WAKE UP.
For me, too. When I drove out to topanga last weekend for retreat, I declared myself a city girl immediately after arriving. Driving up the winding roads with unclear road signs, without cell service, my mind’s alert system started firing: warning‼️What if there’s a fire? What if someone needs to reach me? What if‼️‼️ WHAT IF⁉️ It took my nervous system until the third and final day to relax. And then I felt something I hadn’t experienced in some time: slowness. A connection to what was happening around me rather than on my screen.
When I first sat to… notice things, i felt bewildered, as if there was nothing there to notice. I sat a little longer than my anxiety preferred. I watched my mind create worlds with each thought that arose and then watched those thoughts drop away revealing space.
In that space all of nature, uncontrollable. Already I feel my body compressing back into the pace of the city. Safe in a way. Imaginary safety. To go slow reveals both the timelessness of life and how impermanent it all is. It feels too damn vulnerable half the time. That’s what I felt when I laid on the bare ground. What I felt was, first, that I should get up. I stayed. Beneath the rush to leave, my vulnerability. To ants. Spiders. To shaking earth. To fire. To whatever might come that I couldn’t stop. To life. And now I just want to listen and move slowly, take it all in.